Things that I saw in person

In one of the coffee shops where I worked, there was an employee who had been with the company for many years. She mastered all the opening and closing procedures of the store, knew how to prepare all the drinks and snacks on the menu, and had also worked in other franchised stores of the company. In this coffee shop, we worked in three shifts: opening, intermediate and closing. The coffee shop was in a shopping mall, opening before the stores and closing at 11 PM during the week and midnight on weekends.

This employee had a son who was about 7 or 8 years old, and she was the only one responsible for him because the father had disappeared or something like that. She had a sister who, when necessary, would pick up the boy from school and take him home until she got off work.

One day, she told me that her son’s teacher was very concerned because he was always tired in class, sleepy, and inattentive. The teacher asked her to pay attention to his sleep schedule. The problem was that the boy could only sleep when his mother got home. He stayed awake waiting to do his homework and spend some time with her. Although she had asked him not to wait for her, he said he needed help with his homework and couldn’t sleep until she arrived. She was very sad because she didn’t know what to do, especially since the following week she would have to work the night shift again.

So, I suggested that we talk to the bosses, who were responsible for making the schedules, and proposed swapping shifts with her so that she would always have the morning shift and I the night shift. I lived just three minutes from the mall, and my wife also worked late, so it wouldn’t be a problem for me. In fact, I would be happy to help.

We talked to the bosses, explained the situation, and requested the shift change. They said that, unfortunately, they couldn’t change it because the shifts had to be rotating to be “fair” to everyone.

In another restaurant where I worked for about six months, we had three bosses who took turns in command. Each was very, very different from the other, and I remember one day in particular when one of the more irritable bosses was in charge of the store. Clearly, he wasn’t having a good day. From what I understood of the situation, the pasta machine had jammed, and according to him, it was because one of the cooks hadn’t put enough milk in the dough. He simply threw a box of milk in her face. I clearly remember seeing that woman, black and strong, all soaked in milk, with tears in her eyes. She didn’t quit because she couldn’t; she had a child to raise.

There was another case where the restaurant owner was quite sadistic with the employees. When someone resigned and gave the one-month notice, he made that person’s life a living hell, assigning the worst tasks, at the worst times, and humiliating them in front of others in the most cruel way possible.

And of course, there was that other incident where a boss pushed me because I was arranging the refrigerator with my shirt sleeves rolled up. He had previously warned me that I shouldn’t leave my tattoos visible to customers, even though the restaurant was still closed and there were no customers.

Things that I saw online

I’ve seen many reports on Medium, LinkedIn, and YouTube from people working in the tech sector, mainly, talking openly about how they feel purposeless in their remote, well-paid jobs with flexible hours, good work-life balance, company stock options, annual bonuses, and even office toys… Not to mention the free coffee and snacks. Just a small parenthesis: the coffee in the coffee shops where I worked wasn’t free for employees.

These people have talked about how they want to work in a place that gives them more purpose in life, such as in a supermarket as shelf stockers. They really believe that these jobs are stress-free, but guess what: work is not stress-free. Let’s take the example of someone who quits everything to work in a supermarket. This was the case that recently appeared on my timeline. Work in the market is also divided and rotating shifts, to be “fair” to everyone. This means you won’t have time to organize yourself to take a course, practice a sport, or even pick up or drop off your kids at school at the same time, because you won’t have a fixed routine. Your weekly organization will need to be done according to the rotation of shifts, which means you can forget about medium-term commitments. Additionally, you rarely earn more than the minimum wage, have to deal with cleaning the supermarket (yes, it’s not just the cleaning team that cleans, everyone cleans), and you have to control what leaves the stock first and the order of expiration dates on the shelves. And all this while customers are on top of you, wanting to grab the items you just placed, often literally over your head, as if you didn’t exist, as if you were just an obstacle to the product.

I find it very difficult to understand how this job, as dignified and necessary as it is, can bring purpose to someone who previously had all the freedom, money, and benefits I mentioned before.

The intersection

I believe people have this out-of-touch thinking because, for the most part, they have never worked in other areas. They don’t know that when the restaurant closes, the employees have to stay there for at least another hour cleaning and restocking everything for the next day.

I currently work at a tech company as a software engineer, and most of my colleagues have never had another job besides IT. They often complain that they don’t have enough freedom, even though we don’t experience micromanagement, and we have paid days off and many other perks.

Many believe they would be happier doing something “simpler”. And I think that’s where the problem lies: work should not be your main source of happiness. It’s not work that brings purpose to life. Work is there to support you, so that you can provide what you and your family need to live, so that you can make choices.

Money may not bring happiness, but the lack of it to the point of not being able to put food on the table brings a lot of unhappiness, that I can guarantee.

My thoughts

I really like what the character Tina from the series The Bear says in episode 6 of the third season: “ I’ll clean a dish. I’ll wash a floor. I’ll sell some bullshit. I gotta cover this ass, right? Just look, I don’t need to be inspired. I don’t need to be impassioned. I don’t need to make magic. I don’t need to save the world, you know? Just - I just want to feed my kid, you know? ”

This doesn’t mean we should become a bunch of conformists who hate work. Quite the opposite! Most people will need to work for the rest of their lives, so if you’re unhappy and can make a change, do it (“unfortunately, most people can’t”)! I was miserable working in restaurants and I could change. I can guarantee it was the best decision of my life. Today, I have freedom, a job I enjoy doing, and the peace of knowing that I can provide everything my family needs. I didn’t change because I needed more purpose, I changed because I needed better living conditions.

People with great positions, salaries, and benefits want to abandon their fields to do something with more meaning, with purpose, with impact on the world, maybe… Without realizing that the only purpose of work is to enrich the boss. In case it wasn’t clear, the purpose of work is to generate wealth for the company, not to create a life of happiness for you.

Happiness and purpose change from person to person. For my former co-workers, the purpose was to take care of their children. For others, it may be helping their parents, spending more time with friends, traveling, playing an instrument, or sleeping 8 hours a night in a warm bed. Work wasn’t THE PURPOSE; it was a means to get there.

So, don’t romanticize other people’s professions so much, and try to see your work with a bit more optimism. As NBA player Giannis Antetokounmpo responded to a reporter: “There’s no failure in sports. There are good days, bad days, some days you are able to be successful, some days you are not, some days it is your turn, some days it’s not. That’s what sports is about. You don’t always win.”

And you can trust me when I say that this applies to far more than just sports.

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